FOUR SONS

from: funs.co.uk

These 4 gents go out to play golf one sunny morning. One is detained in the clubhouse, and the other three are discussing their children while walking to the first tee.

"My son Kent," says one, "has made quite a name for himself in the home-building industry. He began as a carpenter, but now owns his own design and construction firm. He's so successful in fact, in the last year he was able to give a good friend a brand new home as a gift."

The second man, no to be out done, tells how his son began his career as a car salesman, but now owns a multi-line dealership. "Norm's so successful, in fact, in the last six months he gave his friend two brand new cars as a gift."

The third man's son, Greg, has worked his way up through a stock brokerage, and in the last few weeks has given a good friend a large stock portfolio as a gift.

As the fourth man arrives at the tee, another tells him that they have been discussing their progeny and asks what line his son is in.

"To tell the truth, I'm not very pleased with how my son turned out," he replies. "For 15 years, Chico's been a hairdresser, and I've just recently discovered he's gay. However, on the bright side, he must be good at what he does because his last three boyfriends have given him a brand new house, two cars, and a big pile of stock certificates."

ADVENTUROUS DINING

from: funs.co.uk

A man travels to Spain and goes to Pamplona during the great "running of the Bulls" festival.

After his first day there, he goes out late for dinner at a restaurant in the center of the town. He orders the house special and he is brought a plate, with potatoes, corn, and two large meaty objects.

"What's this?" he asks.

"Cojones, senor." the waiter replies.
"What are cojones?" the man asks.
"Cojones," the waiter explains, "are the testicles of the bull who lost at the arena this afternoon."

At first the man is disgusted, but being the adventurous type, he decides to try this local delicacy. To his amazement, it is quite delicious. In fact, it is so good that he decides to come back again the next night and order it again. This time, the waiter brings out the plate, but the meaty objects are much smaller.

"What's this?" he asks the waiter.
"Cojones, senor." the waiter replies.

"No, no," the man objects. "I had cojones yesterday and they were much bigger than these."

"Senor," the waiter explains, "the bull does not lose every time."

BUGGY BARBER

from: urbanlegendsonline.com

A man living in Kansas hated going to the barber. Thus, he never cut his hair. For 30 years his red hair grew and grew, until it finally reached his ankles. His wife begged him to cut his hair, for people smirked and stared whenever they saw him. He finally agreed, since his hair was annoying and got in his way.

When he arrived at the barber shop, he sat down nervously and waited for his haircut to begin. Half-way through the cut, he jumped up, screaming, and ran out of the shop.

His wife found him dead hours later on their door step, a huge nest of red-backed spiders crawling out of his tangled locks. When the barber was cutting his hair, he upset a nest of poisonous spiders living in the man's hair that bit him to death.

ANOTHER VERSION

Lily had to go to a very grand party so she saved up some money to get her hair done. She went into the salon and when the stylist asked what she wanted done to her hair, Lily showed her a picture of a model her hair done up like candy floss. The hair dresser put Lily's hair into this elaborate hair-do. She gladly paid her and enjoyed herself at the party that night. She got so many compliments on her hair, she decided to keep the style as long as she could - she sprayed it everyday and slept on it at night.

Three weeks later Lily's head began to feel sore. She went back to the salon and asked them to cut her hair and as the stylist began to work, Lily felt a sharp pain. Thinking the woman had cut her with her scissors, she leaped from the chair and ran out of the salon.

Lily was later found dead at her house. A poisonous spider had crawled into her hair while she slept and laid it's eggs. When the hairdresser upset the nest, the spiders had bitten her to death.

ANOTHER VERSION

A sultan had chosen a new young woman to add to his harem. There was a ceremony that the young woman had to undergo as was the custom. The sultan's first wife was the one who tended to the new maid, dressing her up and fixing her hair.

While she was fixing her hair, she made no attempts to be gentle. The young maid winced as she felt pulling and pinching on her scalp, sure that the older woman was jealous of her.

Finally, after finishing with the headress the older wife backed away to let the young woman stand. But the younger mistress could not hold herself up, and found herself swooning, the room blacking out.

Later her lifeless body was found by the slaves, poison oozing from her black locks. The first wife had attached a deadly scorpion to the woman's scalp, and the scorpion had stung her several times, taking her life.

BABY GIVE AWAY

by: Kristy from Belleville, MI
urbanlegendsonline.com

On a lonely road off a Main Street in my hometown you'll find a bridge with a unfortunate past. A young family lived near this bridge and the husband was away from his wife and child fighting in the war. A neighbor had always held a candle for the young wife and when he discovered that she had a child and the husband had gone off to war, he became jealous and determined to have her for his own.

He came to her house one night and forced entry into the home. When she refused him, he sacagely attacked her and threatened to kill her child. She escaped and ran from her property with the baby, blindly crashing through the forest and brush seeking a hiding place from her obsessed neighbor. Just as she realized she couldn't hear the man chasing her anymore, she came to the bridge and took refuge under it with the scared baby in her arms.

The distressed child had been whimpering in fear during her flight from the house, but now that they had stopped the baby began to wail. The child began to cry loudly and ended the hope of the bridge being safe refuge. The neighbor was drawn to the baby's cries and their position was revealed to the man. He brutally murdered both mother and child right there under the bridge.

Only the woman's body was ever recovered.

Now, if you drive down this bridge and stop half way across, turn off your car engine and headlights and lights and get out, you can hear the baby's cries that gave it's mother's position away years ago. Beware! It's been said that if you go down underneath the bridge at night, you will never be seen again! The spirit of the young mother is trying to protect her baby even in the afterlife.

BRIDE AND SEEK

from: urbanlegendsonline.com

During the wedding reception of a young couple, the guests decided to play a drunken game of hide and seek. It was decided that the groom was "it" and he eventually found everyone except his new bride. The longer he searched the more frustrated he became and he was soon furious thinking she had left. He decided the game wasn't funny anymore and went home without his bride. As weeks went by, he accepted that she had second thoughts and went on with her life so he did the same.

A few years later a cleaning lady dusted off an old trunk in the attic of the building where the reception had taken place, out of curiosity she opened it.

Inside the trunk was the rotten body of the missing bride who apparently became locked in the trunk she chosen to hide in. Whether she suffocated or starved was unknown, but her face was frozen in a scream.

WEAKNESS OR STRENGTH?

by: Author Unknown, Bits & Pieces, August 15, 1996, Economic Press Inc. inspirationalstories.com

Sometimes your biggest weakness can become your biggest strength.  Take, for example, the story of one 10-year-old boy who decided to study judo despite the fact that he had lost his left arm in a devastating car accident.

The boy began lessons with an old Japanese judo master.  The boy was doing well, so he couldn't understand why, after three months of training the master had taught him only one move.

"Sensei," the boy finally said, "Shouldn't I be learning more moves?"

"This is the only move you know, but this is the only move you'll ever need to know," the sensei replied.

Not quite understanding, but believing in his teacher, the boy kept training.

Several months later, the sensei took the boy to his first tournament.  Surprising himself, the boy easily won his first two matches.  The third match proved to be more difficult, but after some time, his opponent became impatient and charged; the boy deftly used his one move to win the match.  Still amazed by his success, the boy was now in the finals.

This time, his opponent was bigger, stronger, and more experienced.  For a while, the boy appeared to be overmatched.  Concerned that the boy might get hurt, the referee called a time-out.  He was about to stop the match when the sensei intercvened.

"No," the sensei insisted, "Let him continue."

Soon after the match resumed, his opponent made a critical mistake: he dropped his guard.  Instantly, the boy used his move to pin him.  The boy had won the match and the tournament.  He was the champion.

On the way home, the boy and sensei reviewed every move in each and every match.  Then the boy summoned the courage to ask what was really on his mind.

"Sensei, how did I win the tournament with only one move?"

"You won for two reasons," the sensei answered.  "First, you've almost mastered one of the most difficult throws in all of judo.  And second, the only known defense for that move is for your opponent to grap your left arm."

The boy's biggest weakness had become his biggest strength.

MARBLES

from: inspirational.com

During the waning years of the depression in a small southeastern Idaho community, I used to stop by Brother Miller's roadside stand for farm-fresh produce as the season made it available.  Food and money were still extremely scarce and bartering was used, extensively.

One particular day Brother Miller was bagging some early potatoes for me.  I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily appraising a basket of freshly picked green peas.  I paid for my potatoes but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas.  I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes.  Pondering the peas I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Brother Miller and the ragged boy next to me.


"Hello Barry, how are you today?"


"H'lo, Mr. Miller.  Fine, thank ya.  Jus' admirin' them peas -- sure look good."


"They are good, Barry.  How's your Ma?"


"Fine.  Gittin' stronger alla'time."


"Good.  Anything I can help you with?"


"No, Sir.  Jus' admirin' them peas."


"Would you like to take some home?"


"No, Sir.  Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with."


"Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?"


"All I got's my prize aggie -- best taw around here."


"Is that right?  Let me see it."


"Here 'tis.  She's a dandy."


"I can see that.  Hmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red.  Do you have a red one like this at home?"


"Not 'zackley -- but, almost."


"Tell you what.  Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red taw."


"Sure will.  Thanks, Mr. Miller."


Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.  With a smile she said: "There are two other boys like him in our community -- all three are in very poor circumstances.  Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes or whatever.  When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, perhaps."


I left the stand, smiling to myself, impressed with this man.  A short time later I moved to Utah but I never forgot the story of this man and the boys -- and their bartering.


Several years went by each more rapid than the previous one.  Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Brother Miller had died.


They were having his viewing that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them.


Upon our arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.  Ahead of us in line were three young men.  One was in an army uniform and the other two wore short haircuts, dark suits and white shirts obviously potential or returned Mormon missionaries.


They approached Sister Miller, standing smiling and composed, by her husband's casket.  Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket.  Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket.


Each left the mortuary, awkwardly, wiping his eyes.  Our turn came to meet Sister Miller.  I told her who I was and mentioned the story she had told me about the marbles.  Eyes glistening she took my hand and led me to the casket.


"This is an amazing coincidence," she said.  "Those three young men, that just left, were the boys I told you about.  They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim "traded" them.  Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about the color or size...  they came to pay their debt.


We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world," she confided, "but, right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho."  With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband.  Resting underneath were three, magnificently shiny, red marbles.

THE TIP

from: inspirationalstories.com 

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table.  A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?"

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied a number of coins in it.  "How much is a dish of plain ice cream?" he inquired.  Some people were now waiting for a table and the waitress was a bit impatient.

"Thirty-five cents," she said brusquely.

The little boy again counted the coins.  "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.  The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away.  The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and departed.  When the waitress came back, she began wiping down the table and then swallowed hard at what she saw.  There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies - her tip.

THE DOLLMAKER

by: Author Unknown, Aspiring to Greatness

inspirationalstories.com

Once upon a time in a far-away place lived a kindly old dollmaker.  He had spent his goodly long life creating dolls of all sorts, making all the little girls in the world happy.

He had kept up in the trends of the world and made dolls that say "mama", that cry, that stand up by themselves, and that even wink at you.  But our doll maker was very wise.  He knew that his time for special contribution was growing short.  So, with special resolve in his heart, he made his most beautiful creation.  He gave her brown curls, which he personally felt had the most beauty in their long tresses.  He gave her the bluest of blue eyes, into which he put the promises of eternity and into which one could gaze forever.

This special doll was given long legs with which she could dance, run and play, and occasionally even walk a second mile.  He gave her beautiful hands to work and serve with and teach all the other dolls.  Her fingers were long and slender.  With these, the old man hoped she would comfort those around her.  She had a beautiful face and he planned this so that she could see the beauty in others.  He dressed her in a gown as shimmery as gossamer, and on the last day when she was completed, he lifted her up with great care and set her gently in front of a large mirror.

"What do you think little doll?"  he asked "Are you not the most beautiful doll in the world?"  The doll looked through her long lashes full of excited anticipation.  Suddenly her pretty face clouded up and then stormed over.  "Oh doll maker, I hate brown hair and I have always longed for green eyes.  These are not the colors I'd have chosen for myself.  And look how gangly and long my legs are!  How large my feet are!  How unfashionable they will seem to the world.  My gown is really very ordinary.  Oh doll maker, I am not a beautiful doll at all!"

We have been created with the most beautiful qualities.  Don't look into life's mirrors and wish you were something you're not.  May we thank the great Doll maker for what we have been given.

THE WEMMICK STORY

by: Max Lucado, You Are Special

inspirationalstories.com

The Wemmicks were small wooden people.  These little wooden people were carved by a woodworker named "Eli."  Eli's workshop sat on a hill overlooking the Wemmick Village.  Everyone of the Wemmicks were different.  Some had big noses, others had large eyes.  Some were tall and others were short.  Some wore hats, others wore coats.  But all were made by the same carver and all lived in the same village.

All day long, every day, the Wemmicks did the same thing.  They gave each other stickers.  Each Wemmick had a box of golden star stickers and a box of dull gray dot stickers.  Up and down the streets all over the city, people could be seen sticking gold stars or gray dots onto each other.  The pretty ones, those with smooth wood and fine paint, always got shiny gold stars!  But if the wood was rough or the paint was chipped, the Wemmicks gave dull gray dots.  The talented ones got stars, too.  Some Wemmicks had stars all over them!  Every time they got a star it made them feel so good that they did something else and got another star.

There were many other Wemmicks though that would do very little.  They  got dull gray dots!  There was one little Wemmick and his name was "Punchinello."  He tried to jump high like the others, but he always fell.  And when he fell, the others would gather 'round and give him dull gray dots.  Sometimes when he fell, it would scar his wood, so the people would give him more gray dots.  He would try to explain why he fell and, in doing so, he would say something really silly.  Then the Wemmicks would give him some more dots!!!

After a while, Punchinello had so many dots that he didn't want to go outside.  He was afraid he would do something dumb such as forget his hat or step in the water, and then people would give him more dull gray dots.  In fact, he had so many gray dots that some people would come up and just give him one without any reason!  "He deserves lots of dots," they would say.  The wooden people would agree with one another.  "He's not a good wooden person," they would say.  After a while Punchinello believed them.  "I am not a good Wemmick!"  he would say.  The few times he went outside, he hung around other Wemmicks who had a lot of gray dots.  At least he felt better around them.

One day, Punchinello met a Wemmick who was unlike any he'd ever met.  She had no dull gray dots and did not have any shiny golden stars either.  She was a wooden Wemmick and her name was "Lucia."  It wasn't that people didn't try to give her stickers; it's just that the stickers didn't stick to her!!!  Some admired Lucia for having no dots, so they would run up and give her a star.  But it would fall off.  Some would look down on her for having no stars, so they would give her a dot.  But they would not stick either!!!

"That's the way I want to be!" thought Punchinello.  "I don't want anyone's marks!"  So he asked the "stickerless" Wemmick how she did it.  "It's easy," Lucia replied.  "Every day I go see Eli."  Punchinello asked, "Eli?  Who is Eli?"  She replied "Yes, Eli, He is the woodcarver.  I sit in His workshop and spend time with Him."  He asked Lucia, "Why do you do that?"  Lucia told him, "Why don't you find out for yourself?  Go up the hill and visit with Him.  He's there!"  And with that, the sweet little Wemmick named Lucia turned and skipped away.

"But He won't want to see me!"  Punchinello cried out to her.  Lucia didn't hear him, as she was too far away.  So Punchinello went home.  He sat near a window and watched the wooden people as they scurried around giving each other gold stars and gray dots.  "It's just not right," he muttered to himself.  Then he resolved to go see Eli after all.  Punchinello walked up the narrow path to the top of the hill and stepped into the big Woodcarver Shop.  His little wooden eyes widened at the size of everything.  The stool was as tall as he was.  He had to stretch on his tippy-toes to see the top of the workbench.  A hammer was as long as his arm.  Punchinello swallowed hard and thought to himself, "I'm not staying here!" and he turned to leave.  Then he heard his name.  "Punchinello?" said this voice, so deep and strong.  Just then Punchinello stopped.  The voice said, "Punchinello, oh how good it is of you to come!  Let me have a look at you."

Punchinello slowly turned around and looked at the large bearded craftsman and said, "Sir, you know my name?" "Of course I do.  I made you," Eli said.  All if a sudden, Eli stooped down and picked little Punchinello up and set him on the workbench.  "Hmmmmm," the Maker spoke thoughtfully as he inspected the gray circles all over him, "Looks like you've been given some bad marks."  Punchinello explained, "Oh, Eli, I didn't mean to; really I didn't!!!  I really tried hard not to."  The Maker said, "Oh, you don't have to defend yourself to me, my child.  I don't care what the other Wemmicks think."  Punchinello asked, "Really?  You don't?"  Then Eli said, "No and you shouldn't either.  Who are they to give stars or dots?  They are Wemmicks just like you.  What they think really doesn't matter at all, Punchinello.  All that matters is what I think.  And I think you are pretty special."  Punchinello laughed, "Oh, me special?  How can I be special?  I can't walk fast.  I can't jump.  My paint is peeling.  I make silly mistakes all the time and I am not a beautiful Wemmick like some of the others.  How could I matter to you?"  Eli looked at Punchinello and put his hands on those little wooden shoulders of his and spoke very slowly, "Because Punchinello... you are mine.  That's why you matter to me."  Punchinello had never had anyone look at him like this before or say anything so nice, much less his Maker!  He didn't know what to say!

"Punchinello, everyday I've been waiting and hoping you would come to see me," Eli explained.  Punchinello looked up at him and said, "I came because I met a sweet Wemmick girl who had no marks."  Eli said, "I know.  Lucia told me about you."  So Punchinello asked, "Why don't the stickers stay on Lucia?"  Eli said, "Because she has decided that what I think is more important than what anyone else thinks.  The stickers only stick if you let them."  Punchinello looked puzzled and said, "What?" Eli said, "Yes, the stickers only stick if they matter to you.  The more you trust My love, the less you will care about those stickers."  But Punchinello said, "I'm not sure I really understand.  What you are saying?"  The maker said, "You will, but it will take some time.  You've got a lot of marks.  So for now, just come to see me everyday and let me remind you how much I care about you."  Eli lifted Punchinello off the bench and set him on the floor.  "Now remember," Eli said as the Whemmick walked out the door.  "You ARE special because I made you, and I don't make mistakes."

Punchinello didn't stop, but in his heart he thought, "I think He really means it."  And each time he remembered what Eli told him and each time he went to visit and talk with Eli, one of Punchinello's dots would fall off.  They kept falling off and soon they were all gone!!!

So like Punchinello, we must remember one thing: "Man looks on the outward appearance, but God looks on the heart. (I Samuel 16:7)

FOOTPRINTS IN THE SAND

from: inspirationalstories.com

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with the Lord. Across the sky flashed scenes from his life. For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand; one belonging to him, and the other to the Lord.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.

This really bothered him and he questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decide to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life, there is only one set of footprints. I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."

The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering, when you see only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."

CHOKING DOBERMAN

from: urbanlegendsonline.com


A woman returned from work and found her large dog, a Doberman, lying on the floor gasping for air. Concerned over the animal's welfare, she immediately loaded the pet into her car and drove him to a veterinarian.


The vet examined the dog but finding no reason for his breathing difficulties, announced that he'd have to perform a tracheotomy and inserted tubes down the animal's throat so he could breathe. He explained that it wasn't anything she'd want to watch and urged the woman to go home and leave the Doberman there overnight.

When the woman returned home, the phone was ringing off the hook. She answered it, and was surprised to discover it was the vet. Even more surprising was his message -- "Get out of the house immediately! Go to the neighbor's and call the police!"

It seems that when the vet performed the operation, he found a very grisly reason for the dog's breathing difficulty -- three human fingers were lodged in its throat. Concerned that the person belonging to the dismembered fingers might still be in the house, he phoned to warn the woman.

According to the story, police arrived at her house and found an unconscious intruder,sans fingers, lying in a closet.

A MILLION DOLLAR LESSON

by: Petey Parker, Heart At Work,

inspirationalstories.com

A cab driver taught me a million dollar lesson in customer satisfaction and expectation.  Motivational speakers charge thousands of dollars to impart his kind of training to corporate executives and staff.  It cost me a $12 taxi ride.

I had flown into Dallas for the sole purpose of calling on a client.  Time was of the essence and my plan included a quick turnaround trip from and back to the airport.  A spotless cab pulled up.  The driver rushed to open the passanger door for me and made sure I was comfortably seated before he closed the door.  As he got in the driver's seat, he mentioned that the neatly folded Wall Street Journal next to me was for my use.  He then showed me several tapes and asked me what type of music I would enjoy.  Well!  I looked around for a "Candid Camera!"  Wouldn't you?  I could not believe the service I was receiving!  I took the opportunity to say, "Obviously you take great pride in your work.  You mut have a story to tell."

"You bet," he replied, "I used to be in Corporate America.  But I got tired of thinking my best would never be good enough.  I decided to find my niche in life where I could feel proud of being the best I could be.  I knew I would never be a rocket scientist, but I love driving cars, being of service and feeling like I have done a full day's work and done it well.  I evaluate my personal assets and... wham!  I became a cab driver.  One thing I know for sure, to be good in my business I could simply just meet the expectations of my passengers.  But, to be GREAT in my business, I have to EXCEED the customer's expectations!  I like both the sound and the return of being 'great' better than just getting by on 'average'"

Did I tip him big time?  You bet!  Corporate America's loss is the traveling folk's friend!

DEATH OF A HERO

by: Marvin O. Ashton, Aspiring to Greatness

The accompanying illustration tells a story my mother told me  as a youngster.  Don't be hasty.  Weigh things carefully before you strike.  When your blood pressure get up, count ten,  "School Thy feelings, Oh, My Brother"  is one of the best bits of advice ever given.  Beware of mistakes made in taking too seriously circumstantial evidence.  Think before you act.  Don't forget that truth is very often stranger than fiction.

This trapper's wife was brought to the Alaska wilderness.  She was cut down by death.  Their child was about two years old.  To go out in the woods in the course of this trapping, the trapper had sometimes left the child for a few hours in the care of their faithful dog.  On such an absence one afternoon a terrible blizzard came up.  The storm was so terrible that he had to take refuge in a hallow tree to save his life.  At daybreak he rushed to his cabin.  The door was open.  His dog who looked at him from the corner of his eyes was covered with blood.  The father's blood froze in his veins.  Just one thing had happened ~ his dog had turned wolf and had killed his child.  He reached for the ax and in a moment the same was buried into the skill of his trusted animal.

Like a maniac he scanned the scene.  In hopeless desperation he uncovered the gruesome remnants of his cabin.  Tipped over, the cracked furniture was telling a story of a battle that had taken place here an hour before.  A faint cry came from under the bed.  Again his heart seemed paralyzed.  There he found his offspring safe and sound.  Just a moment of pause to cuddle his dear on in his arms and he was to determine whence the blood on his dog came.  The answer came just a second later.  The sad riddle was solved.  In a remote corner, there it was ~ a dead wolf, his huge mouth showing fangs intended for the baby which is faithful dog had saved.

Just a moment of caution and he could have held both his child and his hero dog in his arms.  Remorse took over instead.

BLOODY MARRY

from: urbanlegendsonline.com

A long time ago there was a little girl named Mary. She grew very ill and fell into a deep coma. The local doctor was old and feeble and without knowing any better, he believed she was dead. He informed the family and they had a funeral and buried the poor girl alive! Mary's family lived very close to the graveyard where she was laid to rest. The first night, Mary's mother thought that she heard a scream coming from Mary's grave, but no one believed her. Days later, Mary's mother convinced the family to dig up her grave. When they did, they found Mary dead, but they also saw scratches on the top of the coffin and Mary's fingernails were bloody from her efforts to escape the grave.

Now if you follow these instructions, you may be able to see Mary for yourself. At midnight on Friday the 13th, turn off all the lights in your house. Go to the bathroom and turn on the water in the shower and the sink. Flush the toilet, look into the miror and say "Bloody Mary" 5 times. She will appear in mirror. You need to hurry and turn on the light or she will stab you in the back.

BROILED DIVER

from: urbanlegendsonline.com

Fire Authorities in California found a corpse in a burnt out section of the forest whilst assessing the damage done by a forest fire.  The body was dressed in a full wetsuit, complete with a dive tank, flippers and face mask.

A post-mortem examiation revealed that the diver did not die from burns, but from massive internal injuries.  Investigators then set about determining how a fully clad diver ended up in the middle of a forest fire.  They found that, on th
e day of the fire, the person went for a diving trip off the coast - some 20 MILES away from the forest.

The firefighters, seeking to control the fire as quickly as possible, called in a fleet of helicopters with very large buckets.  The buckets were dropped into the ocean for rapid filling, then flown to the forest fire and emptied.  The diver was scooped out of the ocean, into the bucket and dropped over the fire.

Apparently, he extinguished exactly 1.78m (5'10") of the fire.

BLACK AGGIE

from: urbanlegendsonline.com

In the early part of the century, there was a woman named Aggie, who was a nurse working at a hospital.  She was congenial and well-liked, but it seemed that patients under her care always seemed to die.  Superstition grew, and she was put to death, which turned out to be a mistake when she was discovered innocent the very next day.  A communal feeling of guilt spread, so a statue was put in Druid Ridge Cemetery in her honor.  This became the second mistake, when strange occurrences started happening.


Legend has it that if you stand before it at the stroke of midnight, you will be struck blind by the statue's red glowing eyes.  People were even found dead in front of it, including a pledge from a local fraternity.


Another rumor is that pregnant women who walked in the figure's shadow (where oddly, the grass never grew) would suffer miscarriages.  People would gather at the graveyard at night, which became a frequent problem.


All of this finally came to a climax one morning when the cemetery employees walked into work only to find Black Aggie with one of her arms sawed off.  Upon investigating this, the arm of the statue and a saw were found in the backseat of a worker's car.  The man was brought to trial, and he claimed Black Aggie cut off one of her arms and had given it to him in a fit of grief.  Some people believed the ironic story, but it wasn't enough for the court.  He was found guilty.


Eventually the statue was removed from Druid Ridge Cemetery, and was donated to a Baltimore museum.  It was never displayed however, and resided in the basement.  Occasionally, people still congregate at the cemetery in pursuit of truth in the legend, but it is no longer the  location of fraternity stunts...

HOLY C

from: fhm.com.ph bar-room-jokes

After getting Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.  "Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope, "they never let me drive at the Vatican when I was a cardinal, and I'd really like to drive today."  The driver protests, but later gives in.  He gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel.  After exiting the airport, the Pontiff accelerates the lime to 205 kph.  "Please slow down, Your Holiness!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.  The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window.  The cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.  "I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.  The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going 205 kph.  "So bust him."  says the Chief.  "I don't think we want to do that he's really important."  said the cop.  "And I mean really important."  The Chief then asked, "Who do you have there, the Mayor?" "Bigger." "A senator?" "Bigger!" "The Prime Minister?" "Bigger!" "Well," said the Chief.  "Who is it?" "I think it's God!"  The Chief is even more puzzled and curious, "And what makes you think it's God?" "His chauffer is the Pope!"

A MIME IN A ZOO

from: funs.co.uk

One day an out of work mime is visiting the zoo and attempts to earn some money as a street performer.  As soon as he starts to draw a crowd, a zoo keeper grabs him and drags him into his office.  The zoo keeper explains to the mime that the zoo's most popular attraction. a gorilla, has died suddenly and the keeper fears that attendance at the zoo will fall off.  He offers the mime a job to dress up as the gorilla until they can get another one.  The mime accepts.

So the next morning the mime puts on the gorilla suit and enters the cage before the crowd comes.  He discovers that it's a great job.  He can sleep all he wants, play and make fun of people and he draws bigger crowds than ever did as a mime.  However, eventually the crowds tire of him and he tires of just swinging on tires.  He begins to notice that the people are paying more attention to the lion in the cage next to his.  Not wanting to lose the attention of his audience, he climbs to the top of his cage, crawls across a partition, and dangles from the top to the lion's cage.  Of course, this makes the lion furious, but the crowd loves it.

At the end of the day the zoo keeper comes and gives the mime a raise for being such a good attraction.  Well, this goes on for some time, the mime keeps taunting the lion, the crowds grow larger, and his salary keeps going up.  Then one terrible day when he is dangling over the furious lion he slips and falls.  The mime terrified.

The lion gathers itself and prepares to pounce.  The mime is so scared that he begins to run round and round the cage with the lion close behind.  Finally, the mime starts screaming and yelling,  "Help, Help me!", but the lion is quick and pounces.  The mime soon finds himself flat on his back looking up at the angry lion and the lion says, "Shut up you idiot!  Do you want to get us both fired?"

CLOWN STATUE

from: urbanlegendsonline.com

This girl was babysitting for some family friends one night, a little boy and a little girl.  The parents had a fetish for clowns and had collected clowns from around the world for years, setting aside a room in the house just to put them on display.  That night, the children were playing in this very room.  Many of the clowns were just statues, and some were life-size, one in particular, was seated in a small child-like rocking chair.

The babysitter started to feel more and more uneasy about this statue throughout the night.  She felt as though the eyes were following her, whenever she moved around the room with the children.  She decided to call the parents.  "I'm sorry to bother you", she said, "but I was wondering if I could move this clown that you have in the rocking chair, it's starting to scare the kids and I."

"What clown are you reffering to?  I don't recall us having a clown fitting that description.  Are you sure its sitting in the rocking chair?" the mother asked hurriedly.

"Yes, I'm sure." said the girl.  "It's sitting right here, I'm looking at it right now...  Why?  I know it's probably very old and I shouldn't attempt to move it out of the way, but."

"Take the kids and get out of the house, now.  The neighbor across the street will let you in.  Call me immediately when you get there."  and with that, the mother hang up.

Frightened and confused, the babysitter grabbed the kids and ran out.  When she and the kids arrived safely at the neighbors, she called and the mother answered.  "What's wrong?  Did something happen?  Are you all okay?" the girl asked.

"Yes, we are fine, but its not us we are worried about, its you and the kids.  I'm so glad you called -- we were afraid this would happen again.  We will be there shortly along with the police, I'll explain everything when we get there", and the mother hung up.

The parents later explained to the girl that for some time, the next-door neighbor had been giving them problems.  He was mentally ill, heard voices, the whole bit.  On numerous occasions he had snuck into their house and tried to kidnap the children.  This time, he dressed up in a clown suit, painted his face, and waited quietly until he had the opportunity to do what he came to do.

The parents had informed the police many times but never had any proof until now about what was happening.  They thanked the girl, paid her, and drove her home.

VARIATIONS:

• The clown is sometimes in the living room.
• The clown statue turns out to ne a "little person" that was living in the garage for 4 months and would go in and get food whenever the parents left the house.  This time, he saw the parents leave, and went in to get food like he always did, not expecting  there to be a babysitter in the living room.
•  Sometimes the babysitter calls the parents asking them if she can put a blanket over the clown statue.
  

A LAWYER'S QUESTION

from: funs.co.uk

A small town prosecuting attorney called his first witness to the stand in a trial --a grandmoterly, elderly woman.  He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"

She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr. Williams.  I've known you since you were a young boy.  And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.  You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.  You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brain to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.  Yes, I know you."

The lawyer was stunned.  Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Williams, do you know the defense attorney?"

She again replied, "Why, yes I do.  I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too.  I used to baby-sit him for his parents.  And he too, has been a real disappointment to me.  He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem.  The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state.  Yes, I know him."


At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench.  In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be in jail for contempt within 5 minutes!"

The Bunny Man Bridge

from: urbanlegendsonline.com

After the civil war Fairfax Country, Virginia became more populated and eventually an insane asylum was built there.  No one wanted to live near the asylum and because of the public outrage the institution was shut down.

The administration transferred the patients and in 1904 the process was completed.  During the transfer, some of the patients escaped and hid in the surrounding woods and forest.  These individuals were lost, delusional and dangerous.  Most of them were found except Marcus Lawster and Douglas Griffen.  The local authorities found a trail they believed belonged to them, littered with half eaten mutilated bunnies.

The trail led deep into the woods to a tunnel bridge crossing a wide creek.  There they found Marcus hanging from the tunnel entrance.  There was a note attached to his foot that said, "You'll never find me no matter how hard you try!  Signed, The Bunny Man."  That tunnel has been called Bunny Man Bridge ever since.

The legend says that if you walk all the way down the tunnel at around midnight the Bunny Man will grab you and hang you from the entrance of the bridge.

Strange deaths and phenomena has been connected with the Bunny Man Bridge.  There was a young man from Clifton, Virginia who came upon the Bridge while traveling.  Later, he killed his parents and dragged their bodies into the woods to hang them from the bridge and then killed himself.  In 1943, three teenagers, two men and a young woman, were at the bunny man bridge for Halloween night.  The three youths were found dead, hung from the bridge with their bodies slashed open.  All with notes attached to their feet saying the same thing, "you'll never catch the Bunny Man!"

In 2001, after hearing the tale, six local students and a guide searched the area.  They found mutilated bunny parts during their search and left the forest after they heard noises and saw figures moving around in the woods.

STORY VARIATIONS:
 Find variations of this urban legends at the following links:
Bunny Man Bridge Story Variation